My Truths For You was shown in the FE Foundation Degree show in 2014. My Truths For You displays objects recreated or documented from my distant and recent past with their accompanying 'truths'.
I grew up in a flowerless home. The reason being that my mother hates both the smell and sight of flowers because they remind her of funerals. Ironically, the only flowers in my home were a bowl of dead roses from my grandmother’s funeral. In all the houses and crummy apartments we lived in over the years somehow the bowl of roses was a constant. While other things were lost or broken, the bowl remained and still remains today, somehow unaffected by the brutalities of moving.
On September 11, 2001 I was picked up from school early by my mother, which really infuriated me because I was meant to stay after school to play with a boy I had a crush on. I didn’t understand the significance of that day until I arrived at home and saw from my 19th floor apartment two buildings missing from the New York City skyline, in there place were endless billows of smoke surrounded by buzzing helicopters. I remember that the smoke remained for days after and I learned the details of the attack the next school day through a demonstration by a classmate with Lego towers and toy planes.
On the way to camp everyday my mother would stop at the local Deli, order me a salami and cheese sandwich, and then let me pick out a snack. My snack of choice was always the massive bags of sunflower seeds. At anytime during the camp day you could see me spitting shells onto the ground outdoors or filling empty water bottles inside. My friends always joked that they could see where I’d been based on the trail of seeds I left behind
In high school I experimented with a lot of drugs, at first I only smoked marijuana, but as the years progressed I did more serious drugs. I look back on those years as being fun because on the level of sensual pleasure they were fantastic. It’s only if you dig below the surface that you find they were shallow, that really those were miserable years for me.
I lost my virginity to end an argument with my boyfriend at the time. We were fighting because he had spoken to me in a bothered tone when I asked him to make me something to eat and so somehow we decided the solution to the issue was to have sex. It was quite a ridiculous relationship on the whole.
I had an influential teacher in high school, Mr. James Sandler, known to his friends as Jimmy, and to his students as The Sandman. He was a ceramics, photography, and general art teacher who believed that everyone was an artist in some form or another. He’s the man who introduced me to the darkroom, who gave me a wall of the school to display my photos, who opened my eyes to the history of photography via a vast collection of photography books, and most importantly the man who saw something more in me than a troubled youth. At the end of my high school years he made me a simple drawing and signed it “Congratulations.”
Lost Love Letters
I was in a long distance relationship for about 7 months and at the end of this relationship I am left with a strange array of items from our time together. Mostly there are letters and small gifts that could be sent through the post. While my lipstick kisses will never again reach his mouth, they remain stained in the love letters I sent to him with a kiss.
At the ending of my relationship via a three hour-long Skype call I nervously pressed holes into an apple I had initially had the intention of consuming as desert to my lunch. While we gave our opinions quite calmly for the situation, I sat my eyes on the apple trying to make perfect lines of circles into it with a stray Lego piece I had on my desk. It ended up looking disheveled and abused by the end of the call, like it was the embodiment of our once tasty relationship; as if we had each pressed holes into it over the months apart from one another until it was entirely inedible.
I slept with one of my best friends, which really freaked me out because I thought I might have ruined the friendship, but somehow it turned out alright. We didn’t end up as lovers or anything like that; in fact we just stayed friends. I think the line between friendship and sex can get blurred really easily. It’s easy to look at someone who you care about and confuse your feelings of friendship towards them for something more; I think it’s natural.
I have two little brothers aged 4 and 6 so stepping on Legos was an inevitably painful part of my existence when I lived at home. Upon moving away I thought my Lego stepping days were behind me, but when I found a block sitting on a table in a café I couldn’t resist the urge to keep it. Somehow between removing it from my coat pocket and putting it on my desk it ended up on the floor and days later when I had forgotten about it, I stepped my bare foot on the ground and experienced familiar twangs of pain.